Is God Real? A Pastor Described an Experience from my Childhood

I want to share a story with you from my time at the International House of Prayer.  When the woman met Jesus at the well, and He told her everything about herself, the first thing she did was go and tell everyone else what Jesus had done.  It occurs to me that my encounters with God are not just for me.  So I am sharing this to encourage you, that God is real, and worthy of our love, admiration and worship. 

I have to warn you.  Some of this content is not appropriate for young children.  Parental guidance is advised.

In 2009, at the age of 29, I was attending a program called “Living Waters”, a healing ministry for sexual and relational brokenness.  I had been addicted to pornography and masturbation from the age of 14.  When I joined living waters, I had been attending church and abstinent for 2 years, but I was not free from an overwhelming urge to return to it.  I just grit my teeth every morning, on my face praying to God, with tears, that He would set me free.

I joined living waters to encounter God.  I really wanted proof that He was REAL;  Not just a story written by people over thousands of years, to control the way we behave.  I wanted to know that He wasn’t just another Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy.

Living waters was a 4 hour, weekly meeting, for 6 months.  Now, a typical meeting looked like this.  We started with corporate worship.  Then a teaching.  There were testimonies from the leadership team about what they dealt with and how they got free.  Then corporate prayer.  And finally, small group prayer.

One day during the corporate prayer time, I stood at the front for prayer.  A musician played worship music, and I stood there with my eyes closed, talking to God and waiting for someone to pray for me.  It felt like 30 minutes had gone by, and no one had prayed for me.  I felt like getting on my knees and I told God, “It’s okay.  If no one prays for me, I’ll still wait for you to speak to me.  I’ll still love you.”

I heard the musician begin to wrap up the song and people were going back to their seats, and I was still there, on my knees with my eyes closed, when I heard someone get on the microphone, and they said, “I see a picture of a little boy standing on his front porch with a little brown leather suitcase in his hand, and he’s wondering, ‘Who is going to come get me?  Is grandma going to come get me?  Is grandpa going to come get me?  Who?'”, and then they just stopped talking and the music ended.

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.  It was a memory from my childhood that I had been thinking about for 22 years.  It was so vivid.  I was about 7 years old, living in a small town in Nebraska.  I had gotten into a fight with my mother.  I don’t remember what it was about, but I remember her saying, “Fine!  Just leave!”  So I packed up my little brown leather suitcase, and I stood out on the front porch, alone, crying, wondering who was going to come get me.  Was grandma going to come get me?  Was grandpa going to come get me?  Who?

I went back to my seat, and I waited to be dismissed to our small groups.  When I got up I told the pastor who had shared the picture, that it was an exact memory, almost word for word, from my childhood.  She responded with, “God wants you to know that He was there.”

That meant so much to me.  There was no way for my pastor to know what had happened to me, unless someone or something had told her, and there was no one to tell her.  I know that she prays to Jesus, and asks the Holy Spirit for pictures and words of knowledge, so I believe it was God that told her this story about me.  It was just one out of several experiences I have had, that prove to me that God is real, outside of the bible.

And if God is real outside of the bible, then I can believe that God, using people, wrote the bible.  And if God wrote the bible, then it is worth reading.  It is worth trusting.  And, it is worth obeying.

I hope that this story encourages you where you are at.

More stories to come.  🙂

Thoughts on Joe Biden’s Inauguration 2021

Watching Joe Biden ask God to bless America in prayer, and then asking everyone to bow their heads for a moment of silent prayer for those who have died from COVID-19. I’m wondering, what are we to pray?

Our nation worships other gods or no god at all. The gods of hinduism, budhism, and islam. Some engage in witchcraft, even worshiping Satan himself. Others proclaim that there is no god; making mankind god, and proclaiming science, the natural explanation of everything, as the only source of truth. Mother nature. Mother earth. Father time. etc…

But the God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob and Jesus said, “You shall have no other gods beside (or before) me.” Exodus 20:3 and Deuteronomy 5:7. He said, “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them for I am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the 3rd and 4th generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Exodus 20:8 and Deuteronomy 5:8-10.

We have the freedom to worship the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob, but God does not give us the freedom to worship anything or anyone else.

America breaks every single commandment God gave us on Mt. Sinai, and they break every commandment Jesus gave us in the Sermon on the Mount in chapter 5 of Matthew.

The bible says, “You shall not murder.”
American law says it is okay to murder your unborn, and now just born children, for any reason, whether they are threatening to your life, your liberty or your pursuit of happiness. Maybe you got pregnant outside of marriage. Maybe that kid will be inconvenient, or expensive. Well, in America, you can just kill it. Excuse me, “abort” it.
When will we redefine the murder of an adult as just “abortion”? Just a legal operation under the authority of a scientific person.

We look at women and men, to lust for them in our minds, imagining what sex would be like with them, almost automatically. Sexuality is in our TV sitcoms, movies and music. Our children are taught about sex by our public education system, instead of the bible. Our laws say that you can have sex with whoever you want. Male, female, and age doesn’t matter. In fact you can pick your gender. Your genitalia doesn’t matter, we can even change it. And as far as marriage goes, our country says, “Don’t like your spouse? No problem, you can get a divorce for anything, and there is no punishment for adultery. Don’t want to commit the act of adultery? No problem! You can watch other people commit adultery and other forms of sexual immorality with this pornography we are producing without end!” But Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27-30 He also said, “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” in Matthew 5:31-32. And oh, God the Father said, “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.” Leviticus 20:10. If you thought that Jesus abolished God the Father’s law, you might want to read the book of Revelation. It says in Revelation 21:8, after Jesus has come, died, rose from the dead and returned to sit beside God the Father, “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Now, if our nation’s laws and it’s people are violating every law, commandment, statute and decree given by God, why do you think that God is going to bless us when we ask him to?
No, God will not bless us when we disobey him. The bible says quite the opposite.
When Israel did what America is doing, this is what God said through the prophet Jeremiah 44:27, “For I am watching over them for harm, not for good; the Jews in Egypt will perish by sword and famine until they are all destroyed.”
And through the prophet Amos 9:4 God said, “Though they are driven into exile by their enemies, there I will command the sword to slay them. I will keep my eye on them for harm and not for good.”

When we disobey, God punishes us. He does not promise to bless us. The tornadoes, the hurricanes, the cancer, diabetes, the flu which kills over 40,000 Americans a year, and plagues like COVID-19 which has killed over 400,000 now. These are not blessings. These are curses. These are punishments. These are to get us to REPENT!

Now what do you pray for those who have been punished? No, you do not pray for those who have died, for they have already returned to their maker for judgement. (“And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27) You pray for the living, and you pray according to the circumstances. If a plague, a punishment, is upon you, you don’t pray, “Oh God, bless us!” implying that we are doing no wrong. For God has not promised to punish the righteous, but the wicked. Please read Leviticus 23 if you have not read about the Rewards for Obedience and the Punishments for Disobedience.

Therefore, we should pray, “God have mercy on us for violating your laws, your commandments, and your statutes! We repent! Help us to obey You! Help us to come into alignment with your will. Help us to make our laws, statutes, ordinances, even our Constitution match Your laws. Help us to return to You! Help us to live lives that are pleasing to You. Help us to love You with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. Help us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Help us to remove homosexual marriage from our statutes, ordinances and laws. Help us to reestablish “thou shall not murder” in our federal, state and local statutes by removing “abortion” from our laws and judicial precedents. Help us to stop murdering each other, by removing the glorification of murder from our movies, television shows, and music. Help us to repent for sexual immorality by removing sexual content and language from our movies, television shows and music! Help us to love, even our enemies, and to pray for those that curse us and You. Help us to go in the opposite direction, by producing content that affirms your laws, commands and statutes. Help us to create content that depicts us living lives that please you! Marriage between one man and one woman. Marriages that last until death do us part. Marriages where children have both parents most of their lives. Marriages where each person does not have to be suspicious of the other. Lives where there is no sex outside of marriage, so there is no concern of having the resources to raise a child. Lives where false religion and godlessness is resisted. Help us to become prosperous again, by teaching everyone to live according to your commandments, and to do work that builds everyone up. God help us all!”

Truly we have reached what 2 Timothy 3:5 says, where the leaders of America are, “having a form of godliness but denying its power.” Inside and outside of the Chruch, everyone wants to invoke the name of God, yet they deny that God would ever punish us for our sins. They refuse to acknowledge that anything America has legalized is sinful, and any time a person brings up Gods laws or tries to help the nation return to them, they are called “haters”, “discriminators”, “racists”, “fascists”, “lunatics”, “dangerous” and “evil”.

Jesus said, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:11-12

Jesus says in Revelation 22:14, “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”

Let’s not be the “dogs”, “those who practice or have affection for practicing magic arts”.  Let’s not be the sexually immoral, murderers or idolaters, who love and practice every falsehood, and miss out on the blessings and the rewards from God!

Oh my God, I have so much to say.  I’ll leave it at this for now.

America.  Nations of the world.  Let’s repent.

We Need to Repent

We need to repent, as a nation. Just like in the days of Jonah, we need a clear message in America, that if we do not Repent and return to the Lord our God; the God of Abraham, Issac and Israel, then America will be destroyed.

Cory Russel has been preaching that “there is a military crisis scheduled for this nation and this generation, if the people of God don’t begin to wake up, and respond in the right way.”

I’m already seeing it. Riots and unrest in the streets of our larger and godless cities.

Also, the increase of cancer, autism, infertility, dementia, alzheimers, diabetes, flu killing 11,000-61,000 a year, and now COVID-19 killing more than 150,000 in the US as of the time this article was published.  I believe famine would also be in the land due to pests eating crops and a lack of nutrients in the soil and rain from the sky.  Wildfires are increasing, along with earthquakes, tornadoes and hurricanes.  I’ve seen tsunamis and mudslides in other countries.  And finally, the warring between ethnicities and religions.  Islam killing christians in Iraq, and Hindus killing Christians and running them out of India, and both are trying to take over America through immigration and taking positions in every sphere of influence, to change it from the inside.

In response, companies are trying to make vaccines, treatments, GMO crops, increasing fertilizers, pesticides and herbicides.  They’re asking for tons of money.  Race for the cure.  Give, give, give.  To what end?  To end the famine and disease without changing their ways.  According to the bible, they’re not addressing the root cause of the problem.  See Deutoronomy 28:15-68.

The bible prescribes a cheaper and more effective solution:

We need to repent. That means stop disobeying Gods commandments, statutes and laws, and start obeying them. When we do this, we’re not expected to be perfect or mature. We’re just expected to be trying, and when we fail, we need to acknowledge it, push delete, and sign up again. James 5 says, “Are any of you sick? Confess your sins to one another, and the prayer of the righteous will be effective.”


I’m not asking America to do something that I am not doing.  I have first hand experience with repentance.  I was addicted to pornography, masturbation, sex outside of marriage, and headed toward homosexuality and polygamy.  I sang songs like “Satan is my motor” with Cake, and “Hello father Lucifer, how’s your Jesus been hanging?” with Tori Amos.  I stole products from stores and amusement parks.  I had sexual fantasies about every woman that passed my way, even pastors wives once I did return to church (God forgive me).  I fantasized about stealing ATM machines as I drove by.  I pirated thousands of movies, music and software.  I was in constant debt.  I was Godless.  And I believed that the solution to all of the worlds problems was a one-world government, where everyone was on the same page with the same beliefs.

When I came to the end of myself.  When I realized that what I was doing wasn’t bring about the peace, happiness and my dreams of being married with children.  In physical pain from the stress of work and of just being broken up with for the 10th time, I remembered Jesus, and I said the most crude thing, “if you have such big F-ing shoulders you can have my problems.” and immediately all of the pain and stress was gone and I felt exhiliration in my heart.  The next day I told a Christian co-worker what had happened, and he asked me the most remarkable question.  He asked, “Have you ever heard that no woman can ever satisfy a man, and no man can ever satisfy a woman?”  And I responded with, “That sounds right.  So who can satisfy a man then?” He said, “God.  Only God can satisfy a man or a woman.”  It sounded like absolute truth to me at this point in my life, and he invited me to his Church, which happened to be the International House of Prayer in Kansas City.  From there I began reading my bible from cover-to-cover, and trying to do what it said as I learned it.  When I couldn’t stop sinning on my own, I found help inside and outside of the church.  I went through Living Waters with IHOP.  I attended Sexaholics Anonymous for 3 years, and I lead an Anger Management group for about 2 years.  I got counseling from a Christian counselor in the area for several months, sharing my specific issues and doing what he asked me to do.  I also prayed constantly and fasted weekly.  No food, no water. I think it’s important to really fast if you can.  “God rewards those who earnestly seek Him” Hebrews 11:6

At this point, I have been FREE from pornography, masturbation, and sexual immorality for over 7 years.  I became faithful to God by reading the bible almost daily and attending church at least once a week.  I got rid of all of my secular music and I replaced it with worship music and godly teachings.  I went back to all of the stores I can remember stealing from and made restitution by giving them money.  I paid off my debts and I stopped spending money I didn’t have.  I called my ex-girlfriends or their parents and apologized to them for acting sexually immoral and not leading them in a godly manner.  I GOT MARRIED and I HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!  I have the ability to get through really hard relational issues on my own and with help.  I can love and lift my wife and children out of anger, frustration, heart ache and sin.  I have peace and happiness.  It doesn’t mean life is easy.  I think the life of a Christian is HARD.  But it’s the best kind of HARD I can imagine.  I have a relationship with God.  With Jesus.  And I know that they can get me and my family through ANYTHING.

You might ask, why would I stick with a “religion” that is HARD.  It doesn’t sound like it has made your life easy.  what’s the point?”  And my answer is, “it’s the fruit of it all.”  I see nothing but good fruit come from a life with the God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob and Jesus.  I feel stronger.  I agree with my understanding of the world given to me by the bible.  And I have so many experiences with God outside of the Bible that I couldn’t possible doubt God or turn away.

My prayer for you is that you would come to know God like I have, inside and outside of reading the bible.

More stories to come.  May God Bless and Keep you until then.



The Shower Handle

Pretty surprising thing happened to me Monday. I was trying to change the cartridge in my Delta Fossett handle in our shower Sunday night, because the handle was leaking.  I could not get this retaining nut to budge. Tried turning it with channel locks and hitting it to loosen any build up or cement that might be holding it. But it would not turn no matter what. So I gave up and I sent Michele to Lowe’s to buy a strap wrench Monday. Well, when I got home from work and I went to put the strap wrench on the nut the nut just turned without any effort! I didn’t need the strap wrench. My infant could’ve taken it off. It shocked me. I still don’t know what happened. It’s like an angel came in the night and loosened it for me.

Thanksgiving Day

We had big plans. First, we would have lunch with the Mizell family at a hotel in Independence Missouri. Then we were going to host dinner at our house for my in-laws, Phil and Brian. But God had different plans.
I woke up because my son Jonathan was crying. Moments later he was throwing up on the bed between my wife and I. Michelle sprung into action, wiped the baby up, and we were back to sleep, minus one mommy who was now sleeping safely on the living room couch. She wasn’t feeling good to begin with. She had taken some apple cider vinegar last night to keep from getting sick. Several minutes later Jonathan woke up again, this time to throw up in my face. The amazing thing was, I was not mad or upset at all. I just held my boy, full of love and compassion for my little guy. I cleaned the puke out of my nose and wiped him up so we could get some more rest. And we did. I’m not sure how much time passed, but when we woke up again, Jonathan continued to puke every 30 minutes or so until noon.
We had to skip the Mizell lunch, so that we didn’t get anyone else sick. Aunt Roberta and Uncle Denise stopped by to pick up the pies that we were supposed to have brought to the Thanksgiving Day lunch. They were so sweet. Denise prayed for healing in my wrist. I tore the ligaments in my right wrist almost 6 months ago, and I am still dealing with looseness, grinding, popping and pains. They also prayed over baby Nissi’s nursery and the rest of our house. We were really greatful that they stopped by. They are always so kind.
Well, Jonny got to feeling better after noon. He started eating, and eventually he ran outside to play on the trampoline in the leaves. We also had to cancel dinner with Phil and Brian. Phil has been fighting cancer in his lung with chemo treatments at the VA, and we didn’t want him to get the flu, which could be harder on him than most people. We went ahead and made the dinner that I had bought from work yesterday. It was wonderful. Everyone got pumpkin pie. Michelle still isn’t feeling good. But, watching the Saints play the Falcons is easing the discomfort.
I’m getting my web site set up so that I can share more stories, videos and photographs with everyone in the future. Love you all, and have a great weekend!